Flashback: The #1 reason why our relationships fail

Remember that special relationship when no matter what you did, you could always make up with the person, and they would forget about the bad things that happened? Making up was the fun part wasn't it? It seemed like you could've done anything to make this person angry, and they would always be there no matter what.


This went on for a while. You didn't appreciate what you had. You took them for granted, and eventually they got tired of it and moved on to somebody else. And when they got tired, you felt hurt and betrayed, because you thought they would always be there no matter how much you upset them. It really took you by surprise when they actually had the nerve to leave you or even cheat on you.



This is what people do when they feel like they give and give and give and don't get much in return.



The number one reason why any relationship fails is because we don't" VALUE" what we have when we have it.



In order to truly love or value anyone you have to imagine them not being in your life. You have to realize, that at any given time, something could happen to them. How would you feel knowing that your last moment spent with them was one where you didn't show them how much you really appreciated them? It hurts even thinking about it.



People don't respect what they take for granted. This is why we have problems in our own lives. We just assume that our boss will always need us to work for them. Or we just assume that we'll always have the basics in life like running water, gas and electric and a stable government.
You never know what might happen tomorrow. And that is precisely why you never take advantage of the one who treats you good because that goodness could be lost at any time.



If you are the person that is not being appreciated in the relationship you should limit their access to you whenever you feel as if you're not being appreciated by them! Cut them off for a while!



This might be hard to do for some. We'll discuss in a later piece what to do when we have a hard time pulling ourselves away from someone we're obsessed with.



For those of us who can do this now, before you take this measure, make sure that you warn them in advance before you cut them off. If they continue to do the same thing over and over again, you have no choice.
Also, before you cut them off, and after you cut them off, let them know exactly what you want from them in order to make things right . This is very important. Most of us aren't mind readers, and sometimes we have to be specific in describing what we want.



So if you want your man to stop gawking at passing women, tell him how you feel, regardless of how you think he might act. If he persists, cut him off and let him know that you want that behavior to stop or else. (Sorry brothers, but we gotta respect the ladies.)



When you get to the point where you "actually" love this person and they love you, you won't have to play the games as much.
But if somebody slips in the future, using this method will get them to act right, fast!

The Number 1 Mistake Most People Make In Life and How To Stop Making That Mistake!

We all make mistakes in life suffice it to say.

They are ineveitable.

But we dont have to let them destroy our life and lead us on a path to self - destruction.

Life is all about making decisions and taking gambles.

When we are in our gambling mode then we either do one of two things.

If we keep losing when we are gambling (if we keep striking out in our relationships, if we are not making enough in our money making endeavors, if we are not raising our children appropriately) we continue to do these things but we put more on the line as we continue to lose.

We use the same strategies and we try to look for that magic bullet that will miraculously give us what we want in one shot.

Others will continue to lose and even though they are still losing they will still do things the same way but they will lower the amount of times they make these decisions.

Sometimes they might get a victory and things might be slightly better for a little while.

But then when they luck up and win once, they still see all that they have missed as a result of gambling so this short lived victory doesnt make them happy (as a matter of fact they would have liked it better if they lost because now they can justify not putting themselves out there as much as they did).

When we are losing pathetically at anything we seek to do it is best to stop.

Just stop it completely and regroup.

When you continue to do the same things you always did and you see that they arent working then it would make sense to stop wouldnt it?

But its hard for people who have been set in a certain lifestyle and mode of thinking to stop that way of behaving all of a sudden.

It is the best thing to do though.

Now how about if we are winning?

How about if things are going pretty well and it seems as if we are successful?

It would make sense to continue to roll the dice and put slightly more on the line as you progress (dont give it all away but make a gradual progression).

However, the minute you lose again it's best to stop right then and there (for a person who is used to taking risks its hard for them to stop. But it is the best thing to do.)

Here are some additional pointers to keep in mind when you are making decisions and taking risks in your life.

#1 - Never Act Out of Fear (if you can avoid acting)

When you act out of fear you have lost before you even played the game.

If you have to win then you will lose.

We shouldnt put that much pressure on ourselves.

If you are overly preoccupied with the outcome then you are going to lose because the fear of losing is keeping you from focusing on what you are doing ( and you should always be focused on the game not on whether you're gonna lose or not).

If you are afraid to do it dont do it until you are more confident in your abilities.


#2 - You should have a "dont give a f" attitude

Again you shouldnt be concerned at all about the outcome.

If you keep your head in the game and focus on doing every little thing thats in front of you now right then, you will win.

And if for some strange reason you dont win you wont care anyway.

Little victories add up to big wins.

Dont get emotionally involved involved in what you are doing or you will lose.

How to make sweet sweet love to a woman in a way she has never had it before (make her say oh yeah, oh god, oh yeah (and some more stuff): part one

This right here is the real definition of sex education.


The stuff they teach you in middle and high school is not sex education.


It's disease education (but thats another story).


As i'm sure you know there is an art and science to making love.


With women the main 3 keys to pleasing them in the bedroom starts with remebering these 3 needs; you need to be spontaneous, you need to tease her first and you need to take your time when you are pleasuring her.

Women say they want a man with a slow hand.

Too many brothers dont get this fact (maybe they do now i dont know).

They want a man that will take their time in pleasing her.

They want a man that will make love in a variety of different ways.

She wants someone who will tease her and make her wait.

Let's talk about Spontaneity.

Men think that if something works why not do it everytime.

That sounds good to me, but women get bored easily with routine movements during sex.

They need variety.

Now that doesnt mean that you have to go all out and do some kind of intricate, complex sexual ritual everytime you sleep with her.

Sometimes instead of just going straight for the goodies genty rub your fingers around her breast.

Then the next time reverse the motion.

That's all it takes.

Just a little slight adjustment can give great pleasure.

Like the next time start rubbing your fingertips up and down her spine.

Then the next time start by, i dont know, gently sliding your fingers up and down the sides of her body outlining her figure while you whisper sweet nothings in her ear from behind (a quick note: be genuine when you are saying sweet nothings and speak in complete sentences (for some reason women like that).

Another turn on is to rub your aroused body gently against hers while your clothes are still on.

Small differences like these make things new and exciting for her.

A good analogy is a baseball game.

When the guy steps up to the plate you dont know what he is going to get.

He could get a base on ball, a single a double or a grand slam.

The possibilities are endless.

And the possibilities are truly endless during the course of giving tantilizing foreplay she will thoroughly enjoy.

Remember that.

The Second Part Is TEASING the Woman.

Women need for men to stimulate their least erogenous areas before they get to the juicy parts.

Dont gloss over this sentence please.

This means take a little time in taking off the bra.

Slide your fingers slowly around the straps of her bra.

Unstrap her bra as if you are about to take it off, then put it back on again and start over (when you see how much she is enjoying this then you will be tempted to tease her more).

It would be a good idea to one day take a look at her bra's and see how they unstrap so that she will be pleasantly surprised when you unstrap them for her one day.

When you are stimulating her indirectly there will be a great desire to go for the nipples or the vagina.

Hold off on that because women like to be teased first.

The way to overwhelm her with desire is to touch random parts of the body then make your way slowwwly to the hot spots.

You can have fun with this yourself (if it aint fun dont do it).

For instance, at that point where you have finally gotten to the breast, circle around the breast gently and slowly three times then go back to a non erogenous area and start over.

You will see that she will burn with desire for you to touch her in those special places.

Just remember to slowly stimulate he non sexual parts first before you get to the other parts.

Women Need More Time Than We Do.

First of all, in order to go give the average woman an orgasm you must touch the clit.

Most guys dont touch this area enough.

When John Gray wrote his book "Mars and Venus in the Bedroom," he interviewed thousands of women about their sexual experiences.

Most women said the man doesnt touch her down there, and if he does touch her there it's only for about 2 or 3 minutes.

Women need 10 times that amount to have a chance at climaxing.

Female sexual behavior opperates in cycles.

Think of it in terms of the cycles of the moon.

When she is in a full moon state she is on full blast sexually.

When she is in a half moon state... you get the picture.

Gray comes up with a good way of knowing what mood she's in without asking her.

When she's in full moon mode she can wear the skimpiest, slutiest teddies she can find (or something like that lol).

When she's in the new moon state (where there is hardly a moon) she can wear flannel overalls and a cucumber mask for her face lol.

Have some special clothing that indicates the sexual state she is in.

Getting back to the time factor.

Women need longer amounts of time to get off than men do.

For instance, when you are sucking on her nipples and stroking her clit at the same time or giving her some cunninglus (i hope i spelled that right) you need to have a clock by your bed so you can know how long you're going (do this discreetly without drawing a lot of attention to what you are doing).

Remember that no matter how long you go sometimes she's just not going to come (and that's fine, nothing is wrong with that at all).

Dont let that hurt your ego.

Just realize she might not be that horny.

Make sex fun.

Keep it fun and things will work out pretty well.

Final thought.

In order to really know what your woman wants sexually you have to get that info from her in some way.

Im a straight shooter so i have no problems in asking her directly.

I once asked an ex could i actually talk to the brother she used to have great sex with so maybe i can get some pointers on how to plreasure her better (you might not want to go that far lol).

Gray recommends that both of yall read a book on sexual positions and techniques and talk about it together.

This way she will make crystal clear to you what she likes and doesnt like.

Thats all i got for now.

Good luck.

5 Essentials to Being a Great Leader (Not a Faker): Real leadership Skills that Make the People Want To Follow You. For Shizzle!

Think about a leader who you respect and admire a great deal for a minute.

Chances are that person embodies many of the attributes im getting ready to teach you today.

Some people are fortunate enough to be natural leaders.

Most however, are taught that way through precise training and repetition.

Thankfully there is a system in tact that is designed for those who seek these abilities but who arent being taught these techniques in a formal classroom.

YOU can be an effective leader too if follow these commandments!



1) Leadership Mean Thinking in Terms of the Other Person.
People dont care what you know unless they know that you care.

They can sense a faker a mile away.

So if you dont have the people's best interest at heart and if your interests are not truly aligned with theirs forget about leading them.



2) Leaders Must Eliminate their Ego.

There are many Black fakers who are out here now.

They are everywhere.

Giving vital information.

Posing as if they are truly concerned about the interests of the people.

But when you look at them closely you will see that they may be leading solely to impress others or because their ego has beeen damaged by the ones who they are now protesting against.

These people are dangerous because they will sell you out at the drop of a dime if they think that the group that rejected them will accept them back.

It is better to be forced into being a leader rather than to lead because of the desire for power or ego strokes.

Real leaders are humble.

They empathise with the people and treat them with the utmost respect and dignity.

Act in this manner and you will be a great leader.

3) Make your Program Simple to Follow. Nobody likes to foolow programs that are too hard to follow and keep up with.

Simple and easy beats complicated and hard anyday.

Break it down into an easy to understand formula and you will see how the masses will flock to you.

If it is too complicated people will ask too many questions and this will lead some to go astray because of the confusion and natural insstincts of the people.

Remember the KISS formula (Keep It Simple... Student lol)

4) Dont Get too Emotional. Never raise your voice or yell at anybody.

Passion is good but is best not get too overwhelmed with emotion because people will see that you can fly off the handle at anytime and they will think it could happen to them as well (my mistake).

Be careful.

Always remember to be respectful to everyone (even if they dont agree with you).

Dont ignore anybody.

By ignoring them you show people how small you are and how afraid you are of criticism.

You dont have to spend all day with the naysayers but dont ignore them.

This is called having charisma.

5) Know when to Ask for Help and when to Do For Self. The best time to ask for help is if you truly dont know what you are doing.

If you have a clear, unequivocal way of getting something done and you are certain it'll work, then go for it!

Knowing when to pull back and when to advance is often the skill that most makes or breaks leaders.

Always be open to advice but reckognize that you dont have to take everything thrown your way.

Be selective.

And always thnk about how this will benefit the people in the long run.

How to control your child and prevent them from merking out anytime they want to

1-2-3 MAGIC

This method of disciplining children WORKS (in many cases it works the first few times you start to implement this technique).

With this method 1/3rd of the kids will accept it right off the bat.

You call these kids "immediate cooperators"

Another 1/3rd will get it after 7-10 days "immediate pestors"

1/3rd will take a little onger or wont get it because of some abuse they suffered "mystery group"

We want to emplore this method with children 2-12 who have behavior problems that we want them to get rid off.

Black people might not use this because they are so used to believing that violence in the form of beatings should always be the law of the land (just like the white man used to do to us in slavery).

This is the information age and we dont have to use those archaic methods anymore.

So what's the method?

Some of you might have herad of it, it's called 1-2-3 MAGIC!

Basically the child does something that pisses you off (asks for something, you say no and they keep asking; keeps pestering you about something etc.).

They complain that they cant get a snack before dinner so you say, "thats one".

They keep popping smack so you say "thats two" (btw you should say this in a calm manner, NEVER GET EMOTIONAL, because they like to see big bad you reacting to their tirades, it makes them feel powerful).

If they continue that behavior say "that's three" take 5 minutes in your room, and when they come back out dont talk or complain about the behavior just act like it didnt happen.

Keep doing this and they will eventually stop at one or two.

Now in order to use this effectively you have to accept some basic concepts about children.

First of all kids do not respond to logic or reason.

Kids are nuts as children and its our job to make them sane (maybe this is why the kids are so screwed up today because the adults are insane too.)

Second you have to look at yourself as a wild animal trainer.

This shouldnt shock you as much because if you have kids or have handled kids in the past you would know that they can act like wild animals at times.

Third, no matter what you do, dont get emotional.

As soon as you blow your top they will exploit that to their advantage (and you might hurt them and eventually go to jail).

Stay cool (and the only way you can stay cool is by realizing that you are in control and you can handle the situation).

With this strategy you dont have to talk too much or get emotional at all.

Eventually they will get tired of going back to their room like a revolving door so they'll stop because the anticipation of a negative consequence will make them think about getting to three, and they'll shapen up

I know this might sound a little nutty and over simplistic but it works.

Ive used this method with my nephew and he took to it like a fly to you know what.

Ask me some questions in the comment section if you are interested.